hey! my name is bernice, you may know me as berny. yes, i was on JAM ALLEY. i sang r.kelly, i won a toaster. itoaster yam.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
POPPIN BOTTLES
Posted by zumas girrl at 1:34 PM 0 comments
Labels: toast
Monday, January 25, 2010
THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL AWKWARD: 2 TWIHARDS
does twilight make you harrrd? do you legitimately enjoy the twilight series as a piece of literature? really now, really??? why are you reading books about $lutty angsty vampires? is it because you can relate to them, having your blood sucked out of you? or is it because you're a poe$? JIRRE FOK MENSE,TEAM POE$.
Posted by zumas girrl at 8:36 AM 0 comments
Labels: BOOKS
Sunday, January 24, 2010
NAZI JUICE
"Kenan:Who loves orange soda?
Kel: Kel loves orange soda!
Kenan: Is it true?
Kel: Mmm Hmmm, I do I do I do ewwwwww!"
Posted by zumas girrl at 3:21 PM 0 comments
Labels: beverages
Saturday, January 16, 2010
hot men in twenty/ten
b) albino nigerian hustler
c) tiger woods
d) azn
who is the most progressive boyfriend???
hey?
Posted by zumas girrl at 2:16 PM 0 comments
get me away i'm dying

we need another fucking ice age to kill them all, is that so hard to ask for???
JIRRE FOK.
Posted by zumas girrl at 1:53 PM 0 comments
Labels: assembly
Monday, January 11, 2010
TREND ALERT TREND ALERT DU RAGS
could there be a hotter look for 2010? i think not! $WAGGERLICIOUS!!
http://www.adorag4u.com/index.cfm/fa/items.main/parentcat/30483/subcatid/0/id/409046
Posted by zumas girrl at 7:09 AM 0 comments
Labels: TREND ALERT
Sunday, January 10, 2010
THINGS THAT MAKE ME AWKWARD: 1 CASTER SEMENYA IN $LUTTY CLOTHES
shame, pooor woman,not only do you find out that you have balls INSIDE YOU but the rest of the world knows too and then what do they do to you, they make you prance around in $EXY outfits to prove how much of a girrrl you really are, jirre fok arme vrou. too fokken awkard.
Posted by zumas girrl at 12:05 PM 0 comments
Labels: hermaphrodites
Friday, January 8, 2010
marlena evans, return of the mack.
possesed by the devil, serial killer and half of power house couple (way better than bo + hope who are lame), marlena evans YOU THE BEST!
through the course of her existence on the program she has experienced what some consider to be the most outrageous circumstances of any charcter in soap opera history. these include possession by the devil, a plummet from a thirtieth-story-window (which she survived), being used as a surrogate for genitically engineered babies rex + cassie during a four year coma, being mind-controlled to belive she was a serial killer, and becoming pregnant late in life and suffering a miscarriage which caused her to have hysterical amnesia.she has been kidnapped numerous times over the past 30 years.
god damn, now that's a woman.
Posted by zumas girrl at 1:06 AM 0 comments
chris this is for you
notorious woman beater and HOTTIE chri$ brown recently revealed the many struggles he endures in his attempts to be a brown bear through his twitter account
"what the fuck do i gotta do...WTF...yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit im not biting my tongue about shit else"
in a related story, the bears do not want chris brown, at all.
Posted by zumas girrl at 12:42 AM 0 comments
Labels: brown bear
Thursday, January 7, 2010
one for your scrapbooks
wifey no# 5, now thats that gan$ta love. ululate x10. easy now girrrls, there's enough zuma for all of us.
Posted by zumas girrl at 1:51 PM 0 comments
Labels: polygamy
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
seperated at birth/ folk edition
Posted by zumas girrl at 9:18 AM 0 comments
Labels: days of our lives, MICHAEL LAWS